DESIGN YOUR LIFE by Mani A. Farhadi
Cartoon by Wendy Woo
Have you considered designing your life, the way you would design your space or your projects? What if you created your own path, your own recipe, your own mosaic? There’s no reason you can’t. You ARE a designer after all, are you not? Some examples from my story illustrate how you might produce your life to include the elements you want, to result in the outcomes you’d like, in a way that integrates your whole self.
Design your life to incorporate the way you’d like it to flow.
C.H.I.L.L.: CAREER - HOME - INTEGRATE- LEADERSHIP - LIFE
From K-12 to community college to four-year undergrad to graduate schools, I’ve collaborated with administrators, faculty, staff, and students to help them envision their learning environments. In my more than 30 years of working in both east and west-coast architectural firms, my projects have focused on educational organizations. Though I never attended K-12 schools in the US – having grown up overseas in Tehran, Iran - I worked on planning, programming, and concepts for school projects in the US day in and day out. When I realized I didn’t have an insider perspective, because I didn’t have my own memories to draw upon, it occurred to me that I needed to be remedy this situation. That’s when I came up with some ideas!
When my children were in Elementary School, I worked four days a week, in order to volunteer in their schools on Fridays. Whether engaging in an art project, reading a book, grading papers, or participating in various other school activities, I could keep an eye on them and get to know both their teachers and their classmates. When they wanted to go to ‘Joey's’ house, I knew who Joey was, who his parents were, and where he lived. In addition to benefitting from the emotional parenting connection, I was wearing the hat of an educational architect, observing how spaces were being used and the ways in which the environment either encouraged or discouraged learning. It also brought together both my professional side and my personal side.
I was experiencing the rooms with fresh and curious eyes from a student’s perspective. It was akin to a living laboratory for me.
Moreover, I got to know the families in our neighborhood. Even if only for one day a week, I could be like the other Moms and Dads who picked up their kids after school. I continued volunteering in their schools throughout middle school and high school, chaperoning on field trips or monitoring lunch breaks or making props for their theater productions. This gave me the opportunity to continue my relationship with the teachers, staff, and families, while also learning about the various building types one finds on a school campus.
When our local schools were undergoing modernization paid for by General Obligation Bond Measures, I applied to volunteer on the Bond Oversight Committee (BOC). For ten years, I served on the BOC Committee, which then evolved into the Citizen’s Oversight Committee (COC), with a subsequent successful Bond Measure. For six of those ten years, I was the Chairperson, presenting the Annual Report to the Board of Trustees. I received the ‘Citizen Architect’ award from the AIA, for this volunteer service. When our local schools were undergoing modernization paid for by General Obligation Bond Measures, I applied to volunteer on the Bond Oversight Committee (BOC). For ten years, I served on the BOC Committee, which then evolved into the Citizen’s Oversight Committee (COC), with a subsequent successful Bond Measure. For six of those ten years, I was the Chairperson, presenting the Annual Report to the Board of Trustees. I received the ‘Citizen Architect’ award from the AIA, for this volunteer service.
At the office, I didn’t yet have the responsibilities and leadership I wished for because I worked part-time, however, by designing my life in this way, I was exposed to meetings with district administrators, heard about the master planning process, oversaw school construction and advised on budgets. All that experience was invaluable at the office when I had meetings with my own school clients or marketed my firm’s services to assist districts with their bond measures. The knowledge I gained through volunteering with the district and in the classrooms became additional training on my own time, with full relevance to my work.
Volunteering at school gave me a chance not only to gain practical knowledge about school design but also demonstrated my leadership skills and unique skills to my employer. It also gave me the self-confidence boost that comes from familiarity and experience.
H.E.R.: HIGHER EDUCATION REFERENCE
When my children were considering where to apply to pursue their higher education, we toured nearly fifty colleges and universities. With each visit, I wore my parent hat to make sure they would thrive with their choice and reinforce that it was worth our investment. I also wore my educational designer hat, exploring the campuses, taking photographs, and absorbing the environment with curiosity. Sometimes our kids would rule out a college in a matter of minutes, while I’d still be exploring. They’d want to leave, and I’d say ‘I’m doing research, just one more picture…’ which of course would take another hour….! I’m grateful to my kids and my hubby for their patience and for allowing all that research and volunteer time.
The photos eventually became a reference library for my firm. Whenever we brainstormed on different building typologies. I had added value by being able to talk about various campuses I had seen. Over the years, my experience evolved from having colleges as my clients to becoming the client, when the colleges we toured made their pitches, showcased their campus branding, and vied for my family’s hard-earned dollars. As a consumer, it gave me a totally new perspective on the higher education projects I had worked on for decades.
By planning my life in this way, and using my personal time for research, I combined my caring parent AND my educational designer presence, no matter what I was working on.
Once the children became more independent, moving on to high school and then college, I applied for a position on my local school district’s Board of Trustees. After a grueling public interview process, I was appointed to the Board and served eighteen months as a Trustee. Meeting other Superintendents and Board Members, some of them former clients, on an equal footing was indeed fulfilling. I gained their trust as they realized that I valued education so much that I was willing to devote my personal time to it. This demonstrated that I was not only talking the talk, but also walking the walk.
When doing business development for my firms, it resonated with potential clients that I had served as a School Board member. Furthermore, this service offered me the opportunity to observe competing firms present to our School Board and to participate in deliberations about selecting architects, something that brought value to my firm as we sought out our own school district clients. More importantly, I genuinely felt connected with the schools and teachers over the years, keeping the continuity of my relationships.
Lastly, I expanded my leadership skills by becoming a voice for my community. Grateful to the teachers who had helped raise our kids, and having known the families for over a decade, I developed an understanding of the community issues. Since I didn’t have young kids and my own weren’t in the elementary district at the time, it became less intense and personal, therefore I could focus on the community’s concerns. I could sense when the audience at a board meeting was unconvinced. I could tell when they had unanswered questions. I would field queries from curious neighbors at the local grocery store. I gained an even greater appreciation for the process of public education as I learned about union salary negotiations, teacher training, professional development, annual budgets, and confidential issues. It gave me insight I would never have acquired by serving only as an architect.
By designing my volunteer work to coincide with my professional work, I felt less guilt about not being at home full-time with my children, and not being at work full-time with my colleagues. Moreover, it brought my whole self together in a cohesive way.
A.W.E.: ARTICLES - WEBINARS - EDUCATION
If you’ve dreamed of pursuing a different career path or have wondered what it would be like to take on a different career, you can take steps to integrate that without necessarily leaving your current position. Watch as many webinars as you can during your lunch break, before work, after work or on weekends. Especially now that so much is offered remotely, many programs are accessible at little or no cost. You can expand your horizon by listening to talks or participating in seminars that are outside your expertise, yet provide you glimpses into other perspectives.
I’ve taken a dive into other areas of knowledge, such as philosophy, meditation, entrepreneurship, advocacy and medical research. Each time, I learned something new and fascinating. It reinforced for me that I had made the right career choice, while embellishing my day with bursts of learning. By exploring other worlds with little risk, it gave me perspective to appreciate the world I did have.
Examples of free or inexpensive avenues to investigate:
Master Class
IDEO
YouTube
TED Talks
Continuing Education classes
Community College courses
Adult Recreation classes
Health and Wellness offerings
Taking advantage of learning opportunities outside your current field provides the chance to experience an alternate environment, and you can take away some lessons learned in the process.
A.I.A.: AMBASSADOR IN ADVOCACY
It’s vitally important for me to be an advocate. My brilliant late mother stood up for women’s perspective on spirituality in her writings and my talented father encourages ecologically sensitive designs with each project he undertakes. It makes me inspired to be an ambassador in my own way. I’m not the world-renowned scholar my mother was, nor the global designer my father is, yet their examples give me the motivation to be an advocate for women architects every day. I do take care of my professional projects and meet my deadlines at work, but I can squeeze in some positive messaging throughout the day. This is why it’s so important to me to be involved in the Women in Architecture Committee of AIA Silicon Valley.
Women in Architecture Committee 2016
Before work, I check Twitter and retweet from my favorite accounts. I can’t look at them all, but even forwarding one message and amplifying one voice can benefit someone else. During my lunch break, I might take a quick peek at LinkedIn to view new posts and check in on the groups I’m following. Showing my support for others builds positive vibes, even if for a few minutes and with only the select group that happens to pop up on my feed at the time. In the evenings, I might give a few minutes to Instagram and some time to Facebook. That doesn’t cover my entire network, but it does give me a satisfying peek. While I understand that some of you may not agree with what happens on social media stands, I curate my feed based on those whom I trust and relationships that I find meaningful. I read up on what others are voicing, show my encouragement, and champion boldly when I come across an urgent message of advocacy. Since I follow only those whose perspectives I believe in, I find it fulfilling, and it empowers me to share the wise words of others.
While it’s not something I can spend a ton of time on, the moments where I do check in give me a boost of energy. When someone is down and needs to be uplifted, it is important to be compassionate. Thus, throughout the day, I feel energized and motivated, even if my day is filled with practical or routine tasks. In my volunteer roles, I help plan programs that amplify minorities or post about upcoming events related to inclusivity, diversity, and equity. It gives a sense of purpose to the time I spend outside of work. I’m honored to fill my extracurricular hours with lifting and empowering others, moving the needle one small step at a time.
Some of the groups I follow:
WIA Silicon Valley
Equity by Design (EQxD)
NOMA (National Organization of Minority Architects)
Design Voice Podcast
Women Who Design
BIBI (Banou’s in Building Industry)
Wellesley Alumni
Society of Architectural Historians
Parlour
Madame Architect
IAWF (Iranian American Women’s Foundation)
PAAIA (Public Affairs Alliance of Iranian Americans)
WIA’s in other chapters
Mothers in Architecture
Women Architects Collective
Wield Your Story
Herstory Podcast
Archimom
SCUP
SPUR
Abrahamic House
Stanford Office of Spiritual and Religious Life
Sisterhood of Salaam Shalom
ING (Islamic Networks Group)
By filling voids in a typical the day with purpose, finding motivational messages and spreading positive energy, it gives me hope and lets me craft my day with meaning. It brings a way to channel my compassion and advocacy, while being productive at work.
H.O.W.: HAVE OTHER WAYS
Maybe you have other ideas for how to incorporate your work experience with your family life and your community service. Perhaps you work on social projects for community spaces, non-profits or religious buildings, so you could volunteer for your local non-profit, church, synagogue, mosque, food pantry or community center. If your projects are related to restaurants, you can steer your volunteer efforts towards local restaurants by writing reviews, tasting their menus, taking cooking classes, or posting blogs about the chefs. It could be that your professional projects are athletic facilities, so you could attend college sporting events, even if you are not associated with the teams, to learn more about how the arenas are laid out. There are so many ways to integrate your professional life with your personal life, to blend the two of them together. Taking these steps, you can free yourself of the shackles imposed on your life by the rhythm of daily life. You can use the knowledge gained in other areas and industries to augment your current work.
Taking steps in someone else’s shoes, arranging your day to glimpse alternative choices, and lifting others can help you in multiple ways. You can MERGE YOUR WHOLE SELF INTO UNITY.
S.T.E.M.: STAY - TACKLE - ENRICH - MOVE
Stay: Looking into other career requirements, listening to presentations, or immersing yourself in another environment temporarily can make you appreciate what you already have. It might make you reconsider the idea of leaving because you realize you’re well-suited for where you are or that it will be more complicated than you had anticipated.
Tackle: Perhaps these explorations will inspire you to dive into another career choice. That will take a few steps, but now you’re ready to tackle change bit by bit.
Enrich: Maybe you don’t change anything, but you will have enriched your life by exposing yourself to other points of view. Even if for no higher purpose or no-one to impress, you’re engaging in an activity because you can. You might learn something new. You might find something fascinating, which is valuable in and of itself. Even if your current job is not as fulfilling as you might like, you can jazz it up with these mini mental or creative breaks, or by volunteering for a cause you believe in.
Move: On the opposite side, it might make you come to your senses and finally quit that job that isn’t satisfying! If you’re a stay-at-home caretaker, it might give you the motivation you need to make a move towards following the dream you’ve always had.
I hope these ideas have given you something to ponder and that you can be a more critical thinker going forward. You CAN take matters into your own hands, even if you’re working for someone else. You CAN craft your day with the ingredients and spice it up from your chair. You CAN take a menu approach to help you fill your life with the activities YOU want, and still meet your responsibilities. You’re not stuck. There are opportunities for enhancement and engagement at our fingertips. I encourage you to DESIGN YOUR LIFE to align with your dreams.
#4lifedesigned
By: Mani Helene Ardalan Farhadi
p.s. This writer wishes to acknowledge that we are living in a precarious world, with wars, fires, earthquakes, droughts, hurricanes and other devastating calamities, aside from the pandemic. As such, the purpose of this blog was to empower each person reading it, inclusive of their background and circumstances. The writer comes from an American-Iranian Muslim heritage (she/her/hers). We all have the power within us to lift each other up and the power of positive thinking.